sashmo

Square One, Part Two

2012-02-09T15:13:00.002Z

(This is pretty much stream-of-consciousness, so forgive the mess. I just wanted to get everything down before too much time passes.)

Even though I had a hard time in Thailand, I am terribly disappointed that it ended the way that it did. I was finally starting to find my stride there; while it was never easy, it was doable and sometimes even enjoyable during those last weeks. I think that it could have ended up turning into a positive experience, but clearly that was cut short. I feel awful that all I got to experience in Asia was unpleasant because I sincerely believe that there is so much more to the place, even Thailand. I know that one day I'll go back just for fun and finally do the things that I wanted to do all along, and it will be in some small way like going home.

In spite of (or, more likely, because of) my struggles, Thailand gave me a lot. For the first time, I was totally self-sufficient. I can't even describe how huge that is for me. Even if things weren't excellent, it was such a huge relief to be supporting myself, at least up until the emergency flight back to Philly. The road to adulthood has been pretty rocky for me, and I have never had the money to be truly financially independent, but at least in Thailand I had a full time job that could actually support my lifestyle, however humble it may have been. Even better, that job was the one I've wanted my whole life. Teaching in Sadao kicked my ass, but I came away knowing for sure that I want to spend my life teaching, and I can't think of anything better than that.

I keep thinking back to the week in March when, deep in a post-graduation rut, I decided to give myself and break and go back to Charleston for a little while. I was exhausted and working two jobs, one of which I hated and neither of which required the degree I had until recently worked so hard for. I lived in my parents' basement and had no social life. I had sent myself to the edge of a nervous breakdown the previous winter applying for grad schools, and I had already received two rejection letters (including my safety school, so things weren't looking good). If you had asked me on graduation day what my worst-case scenario for the coming year was, I would have pretty much described the reality in which I found myself. Of course, I had a lot to be thankful for even in this situation, but I was so unhappy. I knew I had to do something, and so I went home to Charleston to regroup. I ate and drank, spent much needed time with great friends, went to a couple of lectures, and for the first time in nearly a year, I started to feel like myself again. Not like my college self, either, and I realized that my life was actually moving forward, even if I felt like it had completely stagnated. Then, about halfway through my trip, I got the rejection letter from my first choice school. I was fairly crushed, as most of us are in similar situations, but something kind of broke for me then. I realized that I had in effect been waiting for someone else to make a decision to determine the course of my life, and in doing so, I had pretty much missed out on nearly a year. Later that very day, Bess and Emily came back from class and told me about a TESOL certification course they were planning on taking in Quito...

It didn't all turn out the way that I wanted, clearly. But my job in Thailand brought me to two new continents (I doubt I would have gone to Ecuador without having an ESL position lined up, and frankly, Thailand could have been a lot worse and it would still have been worth it just to have had my experience in South America). I got out of my comfort zone in a huge way, which is pretty impressive considering that my comfort zone already included shady hostels, organ meat, rickety public transport, and no understanding of the local language. It got me out of that rut. There's a part of me that feels like I'm right back where I started last February, back to square one, but I know that's not true. In the past year, in the past six months, my entire life has turned around, largely for the better. I put myself in a situation that would have broken a lot of people down, but I got through it pretty well, and now the world doesn't seem like such an insurmountable obstacle. I did something I am proud of.

Square One Revisited

2012-02-03T00:51:00.002Z

Surprise! As most people who read this already know, I am back in the USA, having made a largely involuntary exit from Thailand. Before I get into anything else, the story:

Bess and I were told repeatedly by a number of different people who ought to have known that we were totally in the clear as far as our visas were concerned. Basically, we had gotten work visas before entering the country that were valid for roughly three months; during that time, according to our sources, we each needed to obtain a work permit, a separate document that would effectively function as a visa, allowing us to both stay in Thailand for longer and leave and reenter Thailand. We were concerned about how long it would take to get the work permit, but once we got to Sadao, our supervisor assured us that we were still legally working, and we could get it later. So we did. We actually didn't get our work permits until December, and only then so that Bess could leave for Australia and come back. Upon reentering the country, however, Bess had some issues and was allowed back only with a tourist visa. Fast forward a few days, we were told by a co-worker that with our work visas/permits, we were not actually allowed to leave the country without special dispensation, and because she had left the country, Bess's work permit had been cancelled.This meant that she was allowed to be in Thailand, but she was not allowed to work. At this point, I only had a week until my original visa expired, which would void my permit as well, and I would no longer even be in Thailand legally.

We of course had to do some quick thinking. We rushed down to our supervisor's office (incidentally, she was the one person in our lives there who could function as an interpreter), and immediately tried to get our documents so that we could leave for Hat Yai, the nearest city where we initially were told we could resolve these issues. Beam, our supervisor, was summoned so that she could figure out what we wanted. She, suddenly a wealth of immigration/labor information, told us we would have to leave Thailand, go to Malaysia, and reapply for work visas and work permits, and that Bess wouldn't even be able to go until her 30-day tourist visa was up. She called Hat Yai to double-check, and it was so.

I want to take a moment here. Beam was literally the only person at our school, and one of very few in Sadao, who could speak both English and Thai, and we relied on her throughout the process. She took care of us in a lot of respects, but clearly resented that she had to do so (despite the fact that she was the one who hired us in the first place). We had no job support, and she even had the gall at one point to call a meeting with us to tell us that the other teachers were gossiping about us. She panicked about everything. She flatly lied to us before we got to Thailand, and continued to lie while we were there.

So, on the day in question, we stood in the office, completely panicked ourselves and with no one to ask for help but Beam. She laughed at us. She basically responded with something akin to mocking. She literally told us to "flow with the water" - this from the woman who had had a melt down the week before that I had used some printer paper for the volunteer classes we held for the other teachers in the school. She suggested that we just forget about the work permits and the work visas and just cross the border into Malaysia every two weeks and "lay low," both of which are highly illegal. She told us she didn't think we had to worry about the permits because we hadn't had them for the first two months, and everything had been fine. Meaning that we had been led into working illegally by our employers and without our knowledge for two whole months, even though we asked ad nauseum about the work permits.

At this point, I dropped the panic and just pretended to be completely placated. We got the documents we needed and went home. A little later, we had a serious talk about the possibility of just leaving for good, and even though neither of us wanted to decide on the spot, the ball was rolling. We knew that we didn't want to go to Malaysia and possibly get stuck there. We didn't want to spend even more money, and it would have cost us hundreds of dollars, and that for just a few more weeks of what I call "teaching." We contacted the embassy and some other American teachers in Thailand, and the reaction was unanimous - everyone told us to get out. By Monday, just three days after the day of panic, we had booked our flights home.

We still had two days of work to get through, and we somehow needed to get paid. We decided to keep our decision to leave under our hats .This may seem deceptive, and I still don't feel great about it, but the possibility that we would have been detained and perhaps even taken to court for breach of contract was too high, and ultimately we needed to protect ourselves. We did tell the truth - that we weren't going to go to Malaysia and why, and that instead we would go to the US embassy in Bangkok to try to resolve things. We already knew that things couldn't be resolved, but we still need Beam to call a cab to take us to the airport, otherwise we would have been stuck. Ultimately, we were able to get paid and get out of Sadao without any issues, and we wrapped things up at work and at home as best we could.

We had a short break in Bangkok, where we got to actually do some fun stuff before leaving. On the way out of the country, I did actually get a citation from the Thai police for having an expired visa, but because I was able to explain the situation and provide my work permit, I only had to pay a fine. The flight was long and painful, but everything went smoothly after my run-in with immigration.

I'll get into my feelings about all this in a follow-up post, but I will say that it was definitely a huge disappointment. It was such a hard time overall - the new job, the new country, the isolation - and to end it on such a negative note frankly sucked. I feel like a missed a lot of what Southeast Asia is about, and even though I hope I will make a return visit, it is going to take a while to recover enough to be able to enjoy it.

2011 At A Glance

2011-12-31T16:15:00.020Z

Places

2011-12-14T05:35:00.002Z

I'm not much for drawing, so when I'm really bored and meant to be doing something else, I write things down. To-do lists, my name 25 times in different handwriting, places I've been, places I want to go, books I am reading. The other day my students were working on an assignment in class, and wrote down every place I've ever lived. Good lord.

1. San Antonio, Texas: I've never lived here, but you have to be allowed to count the place where you were born.

2. Altus, Oklahoma: 1988-89

3. Spangdahlem, Germany: 1989-1992

4. Bowie, Maryland: 1992-93

5. Newport News, Virginia: 1993-96

6. Dayton, Ohio: 1996-98

7. Keflavik, Iceland: 1998-2000

8. Las Vegas, Nevada: 2000-03

9. Mount Pleasant, South Carolina: 2003-06

10. Charleston, South Carolina: 2006-08, 2009-10

11. Nottingham, England: 2008

12. Tübingen, Germany: 2009

13. Broomall, Pennsylvania: 2010-11

14. Quito, Ecuador: (yes, I count it) 2011

15. Sadao, Songkhla, Thailand: 2011-2012

Pretty impressive for just 23 years, no?

Missing out

2011-12-14T05:07:00.002Z

Something I'm rapidly realizing about adulthood is that it leaves a person downright exhausted at the end of the day. My situation may be a little out of the ordinary - I suppose most people at least have a language in common with most of the people they encounter during the day - but I think that even without the language barrier, I would be too tired to do much else than watch some shows, make dinner, and call it an early night.

As I was never a big partier, I'm not too worried about missing out on clubs, bars, and drunken exploits. I'm sure a number of those remain in my future, but it's ok that they're not in my present. What is particularly distressing for me (besides the fact that I have to get out of bed every morning) is the fact that, these days, I'm really too tired to do much thinking. That may sound ridiculous, and it probably is, but whether it's the language, the often mind-numbing monotony of a full-time job, or just the heat, I feel like my brain just clunks along, churning out only the most necessary of thoughts. Sometimes I don't even get those. I still plan on going into academia, so we'll see how this pans out.

I'm being a little over-dramatic - I still manage to teach about 300 kids a new language without speaking theirs, I can get around a foreign country with relative ease (and again, without speaking the language), and I haven't gotten bitten by a cobra yet. I worry, though, that I've lost the ability to really take in everything that's going on in my life, as well as the ability to appreciate all that is good about it. I'm too tired to look about the window and see what's really there - mountains, trees, an incredible mist that is a constant reminder of how much moisture is in the air, even on the dry days. It's other-worldly, a view unlike anything I've ever had before, but I can't quite take it in. It's like a dream. Everything is slightly foggy, a little bit unsettling, and easily forgotten. Because I am exhausted.

I used to read Shakespeare, watch foreign films, take long walks just to look and think and imagine. I would create things. I could spend hours talking about something I'd read or seen or thought. A breeze, the smell of rain, those evening hours when you can actually see beams of sunlight - all of these would send me off someplace else for a moment, and when I was there, it was as though I could really see everything. I could step outside of life and take in the substance of it all. I'm trying to get there again.

Thoughts

2011-11-19T02:13:00.004Z

I've been trying to do some meaningful reading while I've been home sick, and the following two blog posts really speak to my current experience in ways that surprised me.

What the Peace Corps Taught Me About Failure

I'm Not a Feminist...

I've been working on a couple posts of my own, so you should see those soon. Maybe even later today.

Oh the places you'll go!

2011-11-08T07:36:00.002Z

I take full responsibility for most of the things that happen in my life. I chose to move to Thailand, for example. And yet, what lies in store for me just two days hence is in no way my fault. I blame Bess.

It started with a conversation I have no memory of and probably didn't understand. Now, somehow, I am committed to being dressed in traditional Thai garb, made up to the nines, and paraded - and I mean that literally - around town on a float in an important festival of some kind. Trust me, I am not responsible for this.

But lucky for you, there will be photos.

Thailand

2011-11-01T02:31:00.003Z

Moving is hard, and moving to another country is almost as hard as it gets. I've always know this - my first overseas move was 22 years ago, after all - and yet somehow it's always a shock when I arrive in a new place. Now when that place is the middle of nowhere in southern Thailand, "shock" doesn't even begin to cover what I am going through. I'm not going to pick up and leave, but that doesn't mean I don't want to. What's funny is that I absolutely expected this, but there is of course a difference between knowing and experiencing.

So what am I experiencing?

It's hot, first of all. It's not so bad when there's a breeze or a storm, but in a stuffy classroom with no air conditioning, it's almost unbearable. Since it's winter here now, it will only get hotter. Come April I plan to be naked on the tile floor of my bedroom with the ac on full blast, and woe betide anyone who disturbs me.

Sadao, the town where I now live, is just about as small as I've ever seen. That's not to say there aren't loads of people, but beyond a few restaurants and roadside stands, there's nothing for any of them to do. Bess and I are the only ones who walk anywhere, so I presume they just go elsewhere for their entertainment, but we've been confined to our air conditioned bedrooms staring at our computer screens and eating copious amounts of chocolate. Other than the two of us and another teacher at school, there are no other Westerners, which isn't awful, but it does mean that there is only one person we can actually talk to.

Work is frankly awful. The school is ridiculously unorganized; Bess and I didn't even know what we were teaching until the first day of school. I have just shy of 300 students total, so most of my classes have between 40 and 50 kids, mostly eighth-graders. I have a couple of great classes, but mostly the kids don't listen, talk over me, and are generally extremely rude. They speak about ten words of English between them, and I can't even imagine where to begin teaching them because, again, they don't listen to a word I say. I have no book and am trying to design a whole curriculum for two different grades. Oh, and by the way, I have never taught before.

I do think it will get better. Even if I never fall in love with the place, the shock is already wearing off and we are getting into a routine. We'll go away on the weekends when we can, we managed to get a week off for Christmas, and we are now only staying for a semester. When that's done, we're off on a crazy backpacking adventure through Asia, then we'll head to Australia to work for the summer. So if it has to be a little shitty up front, I guess that's okay.

In Which Bess, Emily, and Sarah Have an Adventure in Atacames

2011-07-12T04:53:00.004+01:00

It began benignly enough. Three young women who just wanted to see a little of the Ecuadorian countryside, sample some ceviche, maybe dance with a Latino or two en la playa. What happened next would haunt them forever.

(Before you panic, let me preface by saying that everyone in this story is totally fine. At least physically.)

They left on a Friday for a leisurely bus ride through the jungle with the promise of drinks and camaraderie. With blind enthusiasm, they bought three tickets to a fabled town called Atacames. Eight dollars to the beach, what could be better? They waited eagerly at the bus station, and when the driver called for them to board, they were first in line, armed with a bottle of water, three apples, and a magazine between them. This was the first mistake. The bus left at noon, and the women were hardly out of Quito when it dawned on them that they had not eaten lunch.

"It'll be fine," said Sarah. "Surely we'll have to stop for gas along the way. We'll get something then."

It should be said that none of the three was accustomed to going hungry, but excited as they were, they were willing to wait for a few hours. They chatted amiably about former travels and the upcoming film they were all waiting to see, and passed the time in the enjoyable novelty of a new country. They admired the mountainous scenery and the quaint architecture. All in all, it was lovely. By the time they were outside of Quito proper, however, things took a dramatic turn for the worse. Sylvester Stallone joined the party, shouting through the bus in poorly dubbed Spanish, firing machine guns and other ballistics at will for no discernible reason. He continued to do this for seven hours, thanks to the bus driver's apparent addiction to his films. The girls were stunned. They had no idea Stallone had been so prolific, and now there was no way out. Two Rambo's in, they still had not stopped for lunch, and things were becoming alarming. The jungle was beautiful, but the tour bus hurtling around hairpin mountain curves was not, nor was the half hour detour onto a dirt "road" through a tiny village after the real road had been closed off by the police. The trip that was supposed to take five or six hours now stretched into the night, and Bess secretly feared she might never get off the bus. Rocky came on, and all three girls fantasized about cheese steaks in an attempt to sate their ever-growing hunger. This did not work, and they turned their thoughts to the night's accommodation, of which there was none. What had earlier seemed fun and three-sheets-to-the-wind now seemed a poor decision.

To be continued...

It Lives!!!

2011-07-07T15:21:00.003+01:00

After a very lengthy hiatus, I'm back on the blogosphere, this time reporting from Quito, Ecuador. I've only been here about 8 hours and as I spent 6 of them sleeping, I don't have much by way of commentary yet. But here are a few fun facts about Ecuador:

- Ecuador is in South America. Don't worry, I didn't know that either until I signed up for the class that took me here.

- Quito, the capital of Ecuador, was the first city to gain World Heritage Site status back in 1978.

- Despite the name and its location right on top of the equator, Ecuador, or at least Quito, is quite cool. Right now it's 57 degrees F, so I'm actually slightly chilly.

- The Galapagos Islands are part of Ecuador!

I'll definitely be reporting more as I learn more, so stay tuned!

Final Semester

2010-02-23T14:10:00.004Z

I check my bloglist daily to see who's updated, and I'm tired of looking at the same months-old post at the top of the page. So here I am.

I haven't written, as may or may not be obvious, because my life has been overrun with papers and articles and research. I've got a little over two months until I graduate, and trying to wrap up the loose ends is taking up all of my time (that and the Olympics!). But so far, so good. I got straight A's last semester, and I've maintained that so far this semester. My senior paper got accepted for presenting at SEWSA, and I have a couple of small publishing prospects. I'm starting to look seriously at PhD programs, as I'll spend a lot of time this summer and into the fall completing the application process. The job thing is still in the beginning phases, but I've put together a resume and in the next couple of weeks will start tracking down some serious options. I finally found not one but two white graduation dresses! All in all, the little things are lined up, and while this may not be the best time of my life, it needs to happen. I'm definitely looking forward to the coming year when I'll be working for real and hopefully doing a little freelance writing and some traveling on the side.

In other news, this month marks my departure from England (and my being stranded in the Great London "Blizzard") as well as my arrival in Germany. How can it have been a year already?! If only one could make a career out of studying abroad... While you've probably seen all the England and Germany picture you can stomach, here's my last of Nottingham and my first of Tuebingen:

And here's a little something from this semester:

Gratuitous Amounts of Cute

2009-11-14T19:31:00.006Z

First thing on my Christmas List this year:

Feminist on the Road

2009-11-12T05:11:00.006Z

I'm part of a panel discussion tomorrow on Feminism at home and abroad, and I'm a little stumped as to what I am going to talk about.

Last year, as awesome as it was in so many ways, was a distinctly unfeminist time in my life.

I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out just why this was, and I've suffered quite a bit of guilt about it, both as it was going on and now that I'm back in my ueber-feminist sphere here at the College. To be clear, I did not cease to be a feminist or to comport myself in a feminist manner, but very little of my experience there was felt with the same feminist passion that I have always had.The most obvious answer is that, particularly while I was in England, I was going through too much personal turmoil to really dedicate the same amount of energy to feminism as I usually do. Ironically, most of the specifically feminist things that I did abroad were done in England: Reclaim the Night, the Nottingham Women's Network, a class on women's history in Russia (at least that's what I did both my presentation and my essay on), and just simply the act of traveling alone on so many occasions. These things did not mean a whole lot to me. What stands out about my time at Nottingham now is a feeling of quiet and solitude, of introspection. I didn't spend my days staring meditatively out a window, not by a long shot. But I never did connect with much there, and given what I was going through - losing my grandmother, the death of my best friend's mother, worrying about my little brother - maybe that's not surprising. I wasn't myself. I had a good time, and without a doubt I felt better in England that I would have in Charleston, but I was too wrapped up in grief to feel the same excitement that I always thought I would when studying abroad, or indeed about much at all. Susanne is the exception, most likely because she was going through much the same thing. We helped each other heal, and we also made sure we were having as much fun as we were ready for, but a lot of that fun was sitting on her bed watching Friends or The Tudors and eating gummy bears and not the typical exchange student pursuits.

By the time I got to Germany, and also because of my experience there, I felt a lot better. I was excited. I got a chance to do it over again, in a new place with new people (and best of all, I got to keep Susanne). I was already connected to Germany in very personal ways, and I knew from the beginning how big a difference that would make. Time had passed, and while it certainly doesn't heal all wounds, they get a little easier to handle. I've talked at length about the amazing friends I made in Tuebingen, and everyone who meets me can be in no doubt as to how much I loved the place itself - a visit to my room will reveal not only photos, a German flag, and beer glasses, but also a rather large poster of the city itself. Yet Germany was an even less feminist experience than England. I didn't even travel a whole lot, and even when I did, I was never alone. I was a sponge, more concerned with just soaking up everything I came across than processing it. I don't think this is a bad way to approach a new culture, but it does admittedly represent a departure from my usual approach to nearly everything. The reasons for my lack of feminism in England don't totally apply in the case of Germany, though, so I've had to think even harder to figure it out. I realized that my friends were feminists. The classes I took talked about men AND women. I was almost never objectified in the everyday ways we are used to in this country. The fact is, my time in Germany wasn't really less feminist, but I didn't have to work as hard. I had the same conversations, but they were generally short because we all agreed - of course women should be paid equal, abortion should be legal, women shouldn't have to shave if they don't want to, und so weiter. I lived my life the same way, but it didn't bother anybody. Feminism wasn't a fight. Today, this fact was highlighted by this chart:According the the World Economic Forum, the US lags in all areas of gender equality (except higher education, which is something to think about), and many of the countries ahead of us are ones we have often labeled Third World. Germany's not at the top of the list, but it's a lot higher than we are. The honest truth is that a lot of what feminists in this country have been fighting tooth and nail for is old news in Germany. I could go into the history behind that fact, but this post is already running so long. I'll just give the most obvious evidence: Angela Merkel. However I feel about her politics, her presence on the world stage is a big deal, and it says a lot about where women stand in Deutschland.

I've written to much to close elegantly, but, as difficult as it has been to work through my experience objectively, I think I've hit the nail on the head. And I was honestly glad for a break. I don't like being angry all the time, and giving feminism some space was ultimately a great way to recharge emotionally, academically, and politically.

20 Jahre Mauerfall

2009-11-09T23:11:00.003Z

I haven't written in months, clearly, but I felt that even the course of my uneventful non-studying-abroad life, I would be remiss if I didn't note today -- 20 years after the day when East met West for the the first time in 40 years.

Brezhnev and Honecker share a moment.

The Fall of the Wall back in '89 was one of the most important events of the 20th century, and not just for Germany. Within a year, Germany was once again united, and by 1990, the Soviet Union had collapsed. What I find astonishing is that, after 40 years of separation and Cold War, this revolution was peaceful. It began quietly, but by the end of the night, the world was changed and at least this one particular form of oppression was shattered. That it happened without bloodshed is an all-to-rare testament of the capacity of humanity for peace.

There are still problems. One of the debates going on when I was there this summer had to do with Social Security being paid to East Germans who had not contributed their own money to the system, and this is just the tip of the iceberg in regards to the challenges of turning two countries into one. "Ostalgie," or nostalgia for the East, persists, and despite our Western/Capitalist bias over here, I can understand it. Worldwide, the question remains: who is responsible for Wiedervereinigung? The answers continue to reflect the hostilities of the Cold War, as they generally look to Reagan or Gorbachev (that "or" is important, because of course it couldn't have been both). Despite these, the vast majority of the population agrees that Reunification was a good thing, and Germans and the rest of the world have worked hard in the intervening two decades to reshape Europe and learn from their Cold War histories.

I'm by no means an expert, but I am trying to understand the impact both of separation and reunification in Germany. It's complicated. But I think we should use this anniversary as an opportunity to take stock of the state of the world and reevaluate our progress. In twenty years, the world has become a drastically different place, but the old wounds haven't healed. In order to move forward, we have to look back.

I'll close with a quote from the German newspaper Die Welt today:

"Die Mauer sei jedoch 'nicht gefallen.' 'Sie wurde eingedrueckt. Von Menschen, und zwar von Osten nach Westen. Sie wurde umgestuerzt, abgetragen niedergerissen, in einer friedlichen Revolution.'" (Guido Westerwelle, Die Welt)

If we take nothing else from today, I hope it will at least be a reminder that change isn't passive. People are responsible for the evil in the world, but they are also responsible for overthrowing it. As Westerwelle said, the wall didn't fall.

The Final Countdown.

2009-07-25T08:29:00.007+01:00

I can't believe it's come to this. After eleven months in Europe and an entire year away from Charleston, it's all coming to an end. One short week from today I'll be hauling my gigantic bags to the airport for the last time and heading back home. It's a strange feeling; a part of me can't believe a year has passed already, but there are days when I feel like I've been away for five years. This year has been incredible, and I am so, so lucky to have had the opportunity to live and study at two amazing European universities. I've made life-long friends, and certainly life-long memories, and although I'm dragging my feet as the day of my parting draws closer, it's a comfort to know that even though I won't be here anymore, I'll still have what is most important. I have lived out a dream I have had since I was a little girl, and I've learned so much (including another language!). The bottom line is simply that I've had an amazing time, the best of my life.

Here are just a few of my favorite memories from the past year:

Obama wins the election, and Sue, Katie, and I celebrate a fantastic Bonfire Night, courtesty of a few friendly Canadians.

One of several trips to London, only this time we ran into a few old friends...

Christmas in Italy!

Flip-cup in Broadgate.

Haggis in Edinburgh with Dad. My new favorite food.

Deutsch-Kompakt!

Kathleen + Me + Beautiful foreign cities = Comically bad weather.

Sunday Wanderungs.

Munich's Hofbrauehaus with Susanne.

Mom comes to visit.

Kathleen and I travel the length of Germany via train.

Oh, Konstanz.

Top 5 Things I Miss About the US

2009-06-23T22:17:00.003+01:00

In the spirit of my recent stream of guest aus den USA, as well as High Fidelity.

1. Screens. After a year of killing steadily larger and larger bugs who find their way way into my room and butt their heads endlessly against my light fixtures, I've realized what a simple yet necessary luxury window screens are.

2. Free water. I am a fan of bubbly water, but I am not a fan of water that costs two euro.

3. Air conditioning. Generally, this one isn't a problem, at least in my own room. But the feeling of walking, sweat-moistened, from the muggy outdoors into an equally muggy and considerably smellier classroom is not a good one. And if Oma admitted to liking the a.c. then I can too.

4. My stuff. Shallow as it is, I really miss my assorted crap that now resides in the attic at my parents' house. Every morning when I get dressed, I think of all the wonderful ensembles I could be putting on if only I had my massive clothes collection. When I'm bored, I remember the boxes upon boxes of books and movies and jewelry-making tools. These are basically the only things I own, so it could be worse.

5. Family holidays. I've managed to do some exciting things for the holidays during my time abroad, but there's nothing better than hanging out with a bunch of people you like and eating amazing food.

Another month gone by.

2009-05-26T13:30:00.002+01:00

It's now been three months since I arrived, and I'm officially over the half-way point of my time here in Germany. The past weeks have been fairly uneventful but nevertheless enjoyable. I've been settling into school again, though admittedly the beautiful weather has distracted me from my work on more than one occasion. This week especially is pretty heavy-duty, but we are off next week, so there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can't believe it's almost June. It has been ten months since I last saw Charleston, more than eight months since I arrived in England, four since I left, and only two more to go until I'm back at College of Charleston for my final year as an undergraduate. This past year has been a whirlwind for so many reasons, both good and bad, and now that I'm approaching the tail end of my time abroad, I'm able to see just how different everything is now. Until recently I really thought I hadn't changed a bit, and though I don't think I'm a completely different person, I'm definitely not exactly the same as I was a year ago. I can honestly say that the in the past twelve months, I've gone through the worst times of my life, but also some of the best. It has been incredibly contradictory, confusing, brilliant, heartbreaking, beautiful, and so many other things. Maybe I thought I hadn't changed because, despite all the things I've gone through, I haven't found resolution. But now as I look forward to going back to my old life, I've realized that the pieces are in place, and while I don't know what will become of them, they are not going to go away. These memories and experiences will be a part of me for the rest of my life, and all I have to do is figure out how to fit them all together.

I've talked before about the anxiety I have about going back, and after all this time, I am better able to understand just where that comes from. It's actually pretty simple. For almost a year, I've gone on and lived my life without Charleston, and Charleston has gone on without me. I love and miss my friends, but I know none of us are exactly the same as we were back on 27th of July, 2008 when I left. We've changed independently of one another, and now we're going to have to navigate those changes and find out through trial and error how to relate to each other again. I find that daunting. It won't be a natural progression either, but rather a reconciliation of who we were and who were are now. It may be hard to understand for those who haven't really moved around a great deal -- I don't know. But I think, at least for a little while, it's going to be weird. Because on top of being super excited to be back in Charleston with my wonderful friends, I'm going to feel out of place among them. And I'm going to miss everyone I've become friends with this year. And I'm going to be far away from my family, and without them, Charleston just doesn't feel quite as much like home.

The Digs.

2009-05-13T13:42:00.002+01:00

I never actually took pictures of my awesome room, so today I did just that:

The side you can't see is just windows and the door to my BALCONY. And it's even a in color scheme that I can get on board with, unlike the horrid peach and navy blue of Broadgate Park. Have I mentioned I love Germany? So basically, if any of you want to visit, I have plenty of space.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-05-04T09:44:00.002+01:00

I have some time to kill before I have to catch my bus for class, so what better way to pass the time than announcing my 21st birthday to the world? Anyone who's ever met me knows I'm a fan of my birthday, so this shouldn't come as a surprise.

Over the past few days I've been reflecting on birthdays past, and I've had something of an age-crisis as a result. Nothing major, but with more than two decades of birthdays under my belt, it's starting to seem excessive. This year especially has gone by so quickly, and so much has happened that I feel like I need to take a moment to breath this week just so it all has a chance to sink in.

I've thought about my twelfth birthday more than any of the others lately, perhaps unsurprisingly, given that I spent that birthday not too far from Tuebingen. That week that I spent in Berchtesgaden was one of the best times of my life, and it's where I made a lot of decisions about the direction I wanted my life to take. Ever since coming to Tuebingen, I've felt a sort of communion with my twelve-year-old self, and it's wonderful to know that at least in this one way -- coming back and learning German -- I've lived up to my younger expectations of my older self.

For Mom

2009-04-27T23:47:00.002+01:00

The after-shot. Aren't you proud?

Basically the entire month of April...

2009-04-26T18:21:00.004+01:00

So clearly I haven't updated in a while, but I'm going to go ahead excuse myself, given that I've been keeping pretty busy. And with that said, this post is going to be of the newsy variety, so hopefully no one objects.

Deutsch-Kompakt

My month-long immersion course came to an end at the beginning of this month, which was a little bittersweet. I can't say I'm not glad to have these gorgeous spring days free, rather than spending them in a stuffy classroom going over impossibly complicated grammer rules that I could learn a hundred times without really understanding. But during those classroom hours, I met and became friends with some really awesome people, and that's been a huge part of how happy I am here. We finished our course with a day in Stuttgart to visit the Mercedes-Benz Museum and the Ballet.

Spain

The next stop was Spain - five days in Madrid and two in Valencia. Despite some inclement weather, I had an amazing time. Kathleen and I got to wander around together for the first time in two months, when we braved the Great Snow in London. Both cities were so beautiful; even the gray skies couldn't diminish that. We ate some amazing food, drank a few bottles of wine, bought some great, cheap clothes, and got to spend hours just sitting around and chatting (and watching bad, bad movies). We even cooked Easter dinner for ourselves! It's like we're grown-ups or something. And on my very last day, who did I run into but Rick Steves! Now I feel like a real traveller.

In the royal gardens.

Eating a tasty paella.

Springtime in Tuebingen!

After a month and a half of sporadic wintry weather, it's finally spring here. Everything is beautiful and green, and I've been able to put my winter coat away for good!

Sommersemester

Also, real school has finally started. I've actually only had one class so far, but it was lovely. I have high hopes for the next three months.

Fruehlingsfest

So what should we do to celebrate the arrival of spring in Germany but drink lots of beer? Yesterday I went to Fruehlingsfest in Stuttgart, with is the springtime equivalent of Oktoberfest. It was good and hot, perfect for a fair and/or large amounts of icy cold beer. We drank good German beer, ate delicious German food, and even joined in a few German drinking songs. Immer spass.

One month later... (Vol. II)

2009-03-28T12:16:00.002Z

(Vol. I can be found here: http://sashmo.blogspot.com/2008/10/one-month-later.html)

For some reason, being in places for a month seems like a big deal to me. Maybe it's because this is the point, especially for studying abroad, that it ceases to feel like a long vacation and it starts to sink in that this is real life. At least this time it actually has some basis in fact; my Deutsch-Kompakt course comes to a close on Wednesday, and soon afterward I begin my actual classes. (I'm also signing up for next fall's classes on Monday, and I'm in the process of writing the proposal for my bachelor's essay, both of which are indicative of even real-er life.)

A month in, and I'm feeling really good. For the first time since last summer, I feel like myself, and a better version of myself to boot. The people are wonderful, the city is beautiful, the food is amazing... everything just fits. Nothing really monumental has happened, but it's better that way. I'm not looking for anything big and crazy to happen, I'm just enjoying each day and all the little things that come along with them. Whether it's a low-key night out with friends, a really good doener kebab, the sound of rain on my windows, or just understanding what people say to me (auf Deutsch, I mean), I feel like I'm in a place to just sit back and appreciate all of it without worrying about what it means or where it's going.

"Heimat is hier und dort - ist überall, wo Menschen uns mögen."

2009-03-22T09:40:00.006Z

I like this quote. I've spent my whole life looking for a definition of home that actually applies to me, and here it is. Home is here and there - above all, home is where our loved ones are. For me, that's pretty much everywhere. I've never been one to wax poetic about the idea of home; in fact, it has usually just irritated me. I hate the looks of pity I get when I say "Oh, I'm not from anywhere in particular." I just don't understand why that's necessarily a sad thing. Instead of one home, I have many. I may not live there anymore, but I carry them with me no matter where I happen to be, and they are no less important in my life than a more traditional "home" is in someone else's life. I'm made more aware of this each time I find myself in a new place, poised to begin yet another piece of my life. It's exciting and scary at the same time, knowing that an unfamiliar place will soon become an inextricable thread, one that will stay with me forever. When I look back on a previous home, it's as though I'm remembering two places -- the one in which I lived and loved, but also the place as I first saw it, crisp with newness and hazy with time. They always feel different, and even when I'm settled and comfortable, I never forget the beginning.

Right now, I'm again in that transitional moment, so I've been thinking a lot about those other times and places, as well as what's to come. Not only in Tübingen, but in the coming year - my last as an undergrad.

As for the present, I have spent most of my time in class thus far. We have about five hours of German per day, and when we're not in class, we're all usually hanging out together. There's never a dull moment. Last week was spent in Blaubeuren, a little town in the Schwäbishe Alb about two hours from Tübingen. I was little skeptical; after all, we were facing a week in tiny village with no internet and even more class time than we have here. But even with these drawbacks, it was amazing; every day there was something new to do, we had delicious food, the weather was fantastic, and I got to spend time with people whose company I genuinely enjoy. We also spent a day in Ulm, which is a great little city. One word: Brotmuseum.

We left on Friday, so since then I've just been catching up on homework and bureaucratic stuff, like choosing classes for next semester. It's looking like I will be abandoning all pretense and taking only German history/studies classes for which I can write papers about gender. And I'm still in disbelief that I'm choosing classes for my SENIOR year. Weird.

Blaubeuren cloisters and Blauetopf.

Deutsch-Kompakt.

Kirche in Ulm. We climbed all 750 steps to the top.

The first week

2009-03-09T15:31:00.004Z

So I've been here about a week and a half now, though I'm still in the stage when it seems like so much longer. This isn't a bad thing, it's just strange to think that Thursday before last I had never been to Tübingen; now it already feels like home. This is probably in part due to my many years of moving experience -- I generally find it fairly easy to settle into a place -- but there's something about this town that is so comfortable and homey. I almost wonder if it has to do with distant, mostly forgotten memories of when we lived just a little north of here in Spangdalem, or maybe it reminds me more of Charleston than Nottingham did. Whatever it is, I love it.

The first few days were spend camping on Susanne's couch. We had a great time, and if it hadn't been for her, I'm sure my first impression of Tübingen wouldn't have been nearly as positive. Although she did lead me astray once (coughmenstoilettecough), having a Tübingen resident as a guide was wonderful. And of course, having her as a friend is even better :)

The past week has been a busy one, as I started my Deutsch-Kompakt course. It involves a lot of classtime - I leave my Wohnung at around 8.30 and get back at 4.30 or 5 - but we also have a lot of extra-curricular activities, which means I get to meet people. I have yet to spend an evening sitting forlornly alone in my room wishing I had something to do. I was reallly nervous that I'd be completely overwhelmed with the language, but it has actually been fairly easy. I'm getting over my fear of speaking German, though I have a general anxiety when it comes to speaking to anyone I don't know, whatever the language, so I doubt that will be overcome. How anyone can learn a language without spending an extended period of time immersed I'll never understand.

Anyway, I don't have too much to relate yet. My class is going to a place called Blaubeuren this weekend, so hopefully I'll have something interested to report afterward. And as usual, I'll post some photos:

A view from Schloss Hohen Tübingen

The Neckar River in late afternoon.

Schloss Hohenzollern

A wintery view from my balcony. Yes, balcony.

The D-K group at a Schwäbisch Gasthof yesterday

Tübingen

2009-03-01T16:13:00.008Z

A couple of momentous occasion are upon us - one, I'm finally in Germany again, living out a life-long dream of mine and acquiring a second language. And the second - my blog turns one year old today :)

I arrived in Germany on Thursday morning, so I've been here for a couple of days now. It is absolutely breathtaking here (notice the banner above!) and the weather has been unbelievable. Today it is the same temperature as it is in Charleston, and being that I haven't lived in Charleston this year, it is the lovliest day I've seen in months. Perhaps most importantly, the food is amazing as well. Oh, Käsespätzle... I should be moving in tomorrow, and my immersion course starts on Tuesday, so this week will be a big one for me.

Deutschland Bound

2009-02-25T01:16:00.003Z

Just a quick update: I'm leaving for Germany tomorrow, so the next time you year from me, I should be settling in to my new room and routine (and language!).

Scotland and Ireland and England, oh my!

2009-02-14T17:00:00.012Z

I'm long overdue for a post, but seeing as I've talked to most of the people who read my blog in person in the last few days, I don't feel too bad about it. I've been in Philly for a week and a half and I've got another week and a half before I head off to Deutschland.

I left Nottingham on the 24th of last month and took a train up to Edinburgh to meet Dad. My leave-taking was like so many others - sad, but also incredibly hectic. Why is it that even if I start packing two weeks ahead of time, I always end up scrambling to get everything together at the last minute?

Trent building.

Susanne took a train to Birmingham the same day, so we were able to ride together for part of the way. The rest of the trip took about four hours, and luckily I left early enough to get sunlight throughout. I went through lots of beautiful towns, quaint farmland, and down along the rocky coast in southern Scotland, which made for a nice tour. My two giant suitcases were surprisingly manageable, at least until I got to the hotel and had to haul them up four flights of stairs! I absolutely loved Edinburgh; the weather even cooperated during our time there.

The Royal Mile.

Next came Ireland. We spent a little more time there, and got to see a lot more. Again, the weather was unbelievable -- almost 60 degrees some days! We went to Dublin, Galway, the Cliffs of Moher, Connemara, and many other places. Dad really enjoyed the tiny roads... But we ate lots of potatoes and oysters and drank plenty of Guinness, so we had a good time.

Trinity College, Dublin.

Kylemore Abbey, Co. Galway.

Temple Bar, Dublin.

So after a little more than a week, Dad and split up; he went back to Philly and I continued to London to meet Kathleen. We had a fantastic time (but seeing as it was me + Kathleen + London, was there any doubt?). We did a lot of touristy things like the Tower, Buckingham Palace, and museums, mostly just to get out of the cold. I was looking forward to my flight back to the States -- I'd made sure to book well in advance, and I got a flight that wasn't at the crack of dawn so I'd be able to take my time in the morning. I figured that since it was January, it wouldn't be crowded, so I could get through security quickly and maybe even get a row of my own on the plane. But the morning before our flights, we woke up to this:

Ultimately I had two flights cancelled and spent an extra day and a half in London. And I woke up on the day I actually left with another cold. But at least I got to enjoy one of England's favorite past times in my last hours there -- queueing.

A Farewell to England.

2009-01-20T16:49:00.004Z

So classes are over, exams are finished, and my bags are more or less packed. It hasn't really hit me yet that I'm leaving for good, and I'm not sure it will until after my upcoming travels, when instead of making my way back to my little flat, I board a plane back to the US. I'm trying to prepare for what my study abroad handbook calls 'reverse culture-shock'; even being on a US military base over the holiday was a little weird, and it was still in Europe. I've been a little worried about this trip home because even though I really miss everyone, I'm still in Europe-mode. I came here expecting to be away for a year, and now I'll have a few weeks in the middle of feeling really conflicted about leaving again. As many times as I've moved, it's not the being away from home that bothers me. Home is wherever I happen to be at the time. The hard part is going back. I've never done that before, and I'm not sure how I'll feel. I mean, I really love Philadelphia and Charleston. Voluntarily leaving wasn't exactly easy. This is part of the reason I've decided against going back to Charleston during my time in the States (though the greater reason is lack of time). Maybe all this fretting will come to nothing, but I'm feeling dubious about it all the same.

I feel like I should do some reflecting on my time in England - really moving out for the first time, living in another country all on my own, going to a different school, travelling, etc. There's a lot I want to say eventually, but I don't think now is the time (as I already said, I haven't quite accepted that this part is over). I will say that I'm ridiculously excited about going to Tuebingen in a matter of weeks. As scary as it is to think about living my life in another language, it's something I've been looking forward to forever. I think I'll be more comfortable in Germany than I am here, even given the language. After all, I already have a friend there (one of my flatemates here, Susanne, goes to Tuebingen), so there will be a friendly face at the airport and someone I can go to when I have questions, not to mention an awesome friend with whom I get to spend five more months :). The school itself is supposed to be more like CofC than Uni. Nottingham, so I think it will suit me better than the massive university environment seems to to. And it will be getting warmer instead of colder, which is perhaps more important than I would have imagined it before the onset of winter here.

On a slightly different note, I should mention that for the next couple of weeks I'll be out and about, trying to see as much of the British Isles as I can. I'm meeting my dad in Edinburgh, Scotland on Thursday, after I leave Nottingham. We're spending a few days there, then doing a tour of Ireland. On the 30th I go to London to meet up with Kathleen before she goes to Spain. And finally, I get back to Philly on the 3rd of February.

I'll leave you with a couple of photos from my recent pilgrimmage to Stratford upon Avon (where Shakespeare was from).

The Birthplace.

Me and Shakespeare.

7%

2009-01-13T12:56:00.004Z

Here's something fun:

I need to get a move on if I want to get to the other 93%!

In other news...

2009-01-05T11:44:00.002Z

I have a little less than three weeks before my time in Nottingham comes to an end. My exams are next week, but other than that I have nothing to do until then, so hopefully I can poke around the city a bit and maybe go on a couple of day trips. After that, my plan was to explore the British Isles for a few weeks before meeting my parents in Germany, and from there I would go on to Tuebingen, but recently that plan has changed. Now it looks like I'll be back in Philly for the bulk of February. I may leave Nottingham a couple of days early and do Scotland and Ireland in about a week and a half, then head down to London to meet Kathleen. From there I'll get a flight back to the US. These plans aren't totally set in stone just now, but I thought I'd throw them out there.

Italy (finally)

2009-01-03T22:46:00.008Z

Since I've been back in the UK for a few days now, the time is ripe for an Italy-themed post.

I arrived in Rome on 17 Dec. and stayed there for a few days before continuing on to Sicily to spend Christmas with the Niemanns. The trip was relatively quiet; I was by myself in Rome, so while a did a lot of sightseeing, nothing particularly noteworthy happened (which is good, because noteworthy travel stories are usually bad!). I stayed in a great hostel a few blocks down from the Vatican, which meant that I was in walking distance to a lot really cool stuff. That was my favorite part, actually, just walking around. I do quite a lot of solitary walking at home, but here in England the weather has gotten too cold. It was nice to take up an old pastime again, especially in a place as beautiful and historic as Rome.

It's so easy to get lost (figuratively speaking) in everything that has happened there over countless centuries that it's almost overwhelming at times. I was particularly moved by the Palatine and the Forum for that reason. Even though it's in the center of the city, it's grassy and quiet, and so unlike the bustling hub of the known world that it once was. As cliche as it probably is, I found myself poking around the rubble ponder the fall of Rome, as well as human mortality. Comprehending individual death is one thing, but witnessing the hulking, broken monuments to gods and men we know longer remember brings home a greater kind of death, that of an entire world, really. As morbid as this may sound, my attitude was not so. After all, what is Rome today, what has she been for centuries, if not a new world, a new civilization? She was reborn from the rubble, if she ever died at all.

What is more, the city and the people live with their history shoulder to shoulder. The Colosseum was used a quarry but still stands, like a crown. Teetering apartment buildings lean up against even older teetering apartment buildings, lining streets that have been there for hundreds of years. Ancient pagan structures were converted into churches. The newest building were constructed by Mussolini in the thirties, and even these remain (and probably will for centuries). All of these things have been absorbed into the everyday, and while this may de-romaniticize the history somewhat, I feel like it's the way it should be. It's so very different from the way we treat history in the US. Anything remotely old is swept away and shut up behind glass or put on some registry and made off-limits. I think this reflects a very contradictory attitude toward history in the American consciousness; on one hand, it's something sacred and precious, while on the other, it becomes so because if it doesn't, it will be cleared away to make way for the new. There is no living with it and taking it into ourselves. I could go on, but I think I'll leave that here for now.

And now for some photos:

I got of at the wrong bus stop and this is what I found - Trajan's Forum.

The Spanish Steps.

Evening view of the Campo di Fiori.

Colosseum, as seen from the Victor Emmanuel Monument.

The paper chain!

Historical accuracy

2009-01-01T18:44:00.008Z

So while I was in Italy, I started watching that Showtime series The Tudors (don't worry, I did a lot of other more exciting things too). I got the first season on DVD and was watching it today, so that's what I'll start with (though I promise I'll get to my trip).

Historical accuracy is a funny thing. Even though I study history and plan to make a career in that field, the lack thereof in popular histories (movies or Showtime series, for example) doesn't bother me too much. I love a good fanciful romp through the dusty pages of history more the average person, probably. Everyone loves the dramatic, and history is filled with it. Throw in some codpieces and heaving bosoms and you've got a recipe for success. The Tudors takes this equation to heart, following the exploits of King Henry VIII (the one with all the wives) and taking quite a bit of artistic license on the way. The show is entertaining in spite of the inaccuracies, and I actually have a lot of fun picking them out. Here's a good one:

They picked this guy...

...to play this guy.

Wtf? Of course, the plot itself commits greater historical accuracy sins than this -- I bought the DVDs so I could find out what happens next, though I'm very familiar with the real Tudors. Maybe Anne Boleyn will actually give birth to the son he's always wanted and they'll live happily ever after. The real Henry's treatment of Anne probably will make it into the next season (which is out, I just haven't watched it), but what I'm really interested in is how the show portrays his character. In this season he's a very positive figure. He is shown as being impulsive and quick to anger, but he's also portrayed as being younger than he was when the actual events took place, so it's easy to put those characteristics down to his youth. So what if he breaks alliances and spends more money than he has? And his treatment of his first wife is more understandable to the audience because of the "great love" between Henry and Anne, and it's not as though divorce is nearly as controversial today as it was then. Religious controversy comes into the episodes in passing, but the real impact of this divorce -- separation from the Catholic church and the creation of a Protestant state -- is unlikely to appear.

Henry VIII is infamous for this schism, as well as his horrible treatment of his many wives, spending the country into debt, and being slightly insane (it's thought that he may have had syphilis). Few of these things make for a very likable protagonist, but they definitely make a compelling story. I just hope the show depicts his story as a descent into said infamy, rather than a misunderstood (and really hottt) ruler. Whichever direction The Tudors takes, though, I can take comfort in the very accurate historical fact that, despite his maniacal quest to produce a male heir (which the show does address), Henry VIII's most important contribution - his real legacy - is his daughter, Elizabeth I, who not only cleaned up the mess left by her father, brother, and sister, but who defined an age.

Quick Food Update

2008-12-07T18:00:00.004Z

Because I know you are all hanging on to the edge of your seats.....

I finally found a bratwurst! In other news, I would promise to stop blogging about food, but as I'm going to be in Italy for two weeks, it's one I doubt I could keep.

Papering and Beedling

2008-12-04T18:52:00.006Z

I finally finished my papers - both of them - yesterday morning. Gah. If I ever see the library again, I'm going to puke. That part is exciting, but not as exciting as the fact that, immediately upon turning in said papers, I hopped on a bus with Susanne, one of my flatmates, and we went to LONDON for the midnight release of The Tales of Beedle the Bard. I had such a great time; for the first time in nearly a month, I was healthy and homework-free. Oh yeah, and in London :) Reading a new Harry Potter book. What could be better?

As per usual, I have some photos:

Piccadilly Circus at night. Always cool.

Real food! Also, my first fish and chips since I arrived in September.

This is probably self-explanatory :)

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T22:03:00.005Z

I'm thankful for a) not being a peasant in late Imperial Russia, b) my acceptance letter from Tuebingen which finally came today, and c) the Tales of Beedle the Bard release party that I bought tickets for today. And of course, all of you :)

Here's what my Thanksgiving feast looked like:

Mmm. And to the right, you'll see my dinner guests -- books on Russian peasants for the paper I was working while I ate.

The dessert spread. These cookies were no pumpkin pie, but they were mighty delicious.

Reclaim the Night

2008-11-25T16:50:00.003Z

Well, I'm back in the land of research papers for the next couple of weeks, but before I get too deeply into them, I thought I'd share a couple of thoughts about Reclaim the Night.

Reclaim the Night is an annual march held in London to protest sexual violence against women. These marches are held all over the world -- even in Charleston, I did it last year -- and it's always a great moment of empowerment and collective action. Walking through the main streets of London, past Trafalgar Square, the West End, and thousands of onlookers was such an experience. My voice was completely gone from my lengthy illness, so I couldn't do much more than hold my sign and look determined (and more than a little cold!), but I loved it.

I have a couple of complaints, however. The first is that I honestly thought the march would be much bigger. Granted, our march in Charleston consisted mainly of students from my Gender and Violence class, but even given that relatively humble frame of reference, I was surprised that a march being held in one of the world's major capitals for a cause I consider to be so ubiquitous didn't garner a larger crowd. When we assembled in an auditorium after the march, there were only about as many people as might show up to CofC's production of The Vagina Monologues.

My second beef is not even specifically about the march on Saturday, but is a rather more general observation. Throughout the march our group was at the front of the pack, which meant that I got a great view of the onlookers. This was pretty awesome for the most part; the majority of the people were either cheering us on or taking pictures as though we were a tourist attraction. What pissed me off were the number of men -- and yes, they were all men -- who stood by and heckled us with insults or sexual advances. What these particular men said or did doesn't really matter. I didn't have my feelings hurt, and I'm quite sure not a single woman in the march felt threatened by their displays of pathetic machismo. What is troubling is the general sentiment that their actions represent. Throwing insults at women who are protesting violence against women is a sanction of that violence. It is indicative of the violence that pulses just below the surface, and often in plain view, in our society. I would often like to believe that the reason this violence persists is because of insufficient public education -- that people just don't realize how enormous the problem is. Surely all people, whether men or women, could get behind a cause that seeks to liberate their sisters, mothers, daughters, friends, and selves from the fear and the threat of rape and violence at every turn. I know in that reasonable, realistic part of my brain that this isn't the case. Clearly, my thinking is that of a bleeding-heart liberal who is totally out of touch with just how sick the world really is.

I'm dreaming of...

2008-11-21T13:21:00.003Z

FOOD. The past few days I can't think of anything else.

1. It started with bratwurst. I don't know why, but when I was too sick to even eat toast, I just laid in bed day-dreaming of this bratwurst I had at the Robin Hood pagaent a few weeks ago. Sooo good.

2. Pickles. I can't get a decent pickle here, and it's driving me mad.

3. Cake. Well, I'm usually thinking about cake.

4. Yes, it's almost Thanksgiving, and no, I won't be having it here. So my mind keeps venturing back to Thanksgivings past and all the wonderful things I won't be eating this week. Turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce in the shape of a can... sigh.

5. Homemade mac and cheese. I've never even really loved this, but all things involving cheese and carbs sound good to me right now.

6. Homemade anything, really.

7. Cheesesteaks.

8. SUSHI. This is probably the longest I've gone without sushi since I first tried it. As soon as I get back to Charleston, I'm going to camp out at Oriental Garden and eat my weight in it.

9. Pasta salad, a la Papa Zuzu's. Mmm.

10. Bagels.

This list could go on and on, but I'm getting ridiculously hungry typing it up. Why oh why can't I have cravings for fish and chips or shepherd's pie or unidentifiable steamed things?

Rant

2008-11-18T10:57:00.003Z

Don't worry, it'll be brief. I'm just pissed off that yesterday I walked all the way to other end of campus to the student health centre (in the rain!), paid 30 P, and waited forever only to be told there is nothing wrong with me. Yes, I explained that my symptoms -- nausea, fever, etc. -- are very unusual for me, and that they usually indicate a bacterial infection for which I need antibiotics, but the nurse who saw me for a record three minutes flat didn't do anything except take my temperature and declare me healthy. "But if you do vomit, you need to come back," she told me. Even after I told her I hadn't been able to eat anything for several days, which might explain the lack of vomitting. And guess what I did in the middle of the night? I puked. But I'm not going back. I get that they see a lot of people with similar symptoms, and I never, ever present in the "normal" way, but the fact of the matter is, any time I see a medical professional, they don't listen to me. It's always been that way, and most recently (before now, I mean) it could have cost me my life. It worries me. Sorry if that's tmi, but I'm angry.

Best Week Ever

2008-11-12T11:24:00.003Z

So this week has been a good one. Obviously, knowing that our country is safely in the hands of Barack Obama for the next four years is such a huge relief, as I've mentioned before. Bonfire Night was last week, and we had a great night celebrating both a traditional English holiday and this brand new era of American history. And, of course, I spent the weekend in Paris! It was such a wonderful experience, even with the two 13-hour bus rides :) Oh, and I found out that Flight of the Conchords, my FAVORITE show, is doing a second season. If you've never heard of them, you should totally check them out of YouTube. Here are some pictures from the weekend:

Outside the Louvre on the first day.

Sacre Coeur! Yes, we climbed all those stairs, and my ass still hurts.

Montmartre.

Centre Pompidou (the modern art museum)

My favorite room in the Centre Pompidou.

Obama wins!!!!!!!!

2008-11-05T04:15:00.003Z

It's four o'clock in the morning here, and I have tears running down my face. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'll reiterate how historic an election this has been. We have just elected our first President of Color, and it's difficult to imagine that the candidates in future elections will ever again be four besuited white men. Wow. Maybe now our leadership will actually reflect the American people, not just a select few of them.
This election is historic for the very important fact that it signifies the end of the Bush regime, something I (and so many others) have waited eagerly for since 2000. I know that my generation, those who have come of age post-911 and in the middle of this war, has felt the Bush years keenly. Young voters have been vocal and influential in this election, and for me, it's unbelievably refreshing. And that's to say nothing of other previously-ignored sectors of the electorate. Hopefully in years to come, we'll be saying a lot more than nothing. We have a voice now, and we have spoken.
Congratulations Barack. And congratulations America. We have our hope back; let's use it and work together for the change that we all so long for.

VOTE!!!

2008-11-04T13:38:00.000Z

Need I say more?

Happy November!

2008-11-02T14:53:00.004Z

November is shaping up to be a month of adventure. I've gotten one of my major assignments out of the way, so hopefully that will make more time for travel. I went to Bath and Stonehenge for the day yesterday, I'm going to Paris next weekend, and I'm planning on going down to London for their annual Reclaim the Night march at the end of the month. Keep checking back for updates! Here are some highlights from the trip yesterday:

This one's pretty obvious. Also, it was freezing cold and raining.

Stonehenge's neighbors.

At the Roman Baths (in Bath). Left to Right: Katie, one of my flatmates; me; Anni, another friend; Susanne, another of my flatmates.

A lovely view of Bath in the rain.

One month later...

2008-10-25T15:52:00.002+01:00

I've been meaning to post for a while now. I had the idea that on the 16th - exactly one month after I arrived in England - I'd do this big elaborate post with lots of great anecdotes and a little bit of "what it all means." Clearly, that did not happen. It seems the homework gods finally got word that I'm back in school, so I've been stuck in the library/my room doing lots of educational reading. The schoolwork is actually a welcome change most of the time; I had forgotten how much I love school.

So anyway, now it's been officially more than a month. I got my first jolt of "time is passing so quickly" when I realized that I'm halfway finished with my classes (I know!), which incidentally means that I'm more than halfway finished with college, but that's a whole different can of worms. All of the other Americans that I know are leaving in the beginning of December to go home for Christmas and start classes at their home universities in the Spring, and they're also freaking me out with their talk of how large that moment is looming. I forget sometimes that I'm here (meaning Europe) until August, but even so, I have the feeling that before I know it, I'll be de-planing back in the US wondering where the year went.

Thoughts

2008-10-06T09:40:00.002+01:00

I was doing a lot of thinking last night, but I'll get to that later.

It's officially fall here, something I haven't experienced since elementary school. It's already colder than it ever gets in Charleston, and when I opened my window this morning, I could smell a wood fire burning somewhere. I love that smell.

Things I love about England

2008-10-03T18:34:00.005+01:00

1. I can no longer go to google.com, only to google.co.uk

2. Some guy gave me a flyer on the street to day for a place called "Currys R Us."

3. I meet English people who think it's cool that I'm American.

4. This place:

Recap

2008-10-01T15:42:00.004+01:00

So, already I've been lax about my blog... But here I am for a long-winded update, going day by day (as best I can remember):

Day 1 -

My flight arrived sometime around midday, right on time, but that was the end of my travel luck. I was supposed to get to Nottingham via a school-provided coach, but when I got there, they didn't have my name. I had to wait in a long queue (a necessary induction into English culture) to buy my own bus ticket, and then I had to wait for approximately three hours for my delayed bus to finally arrived at Heathrow. I should mention that by this point, it was early afternoon and I hadn't slept or eaten since before my flight. The bus ride was also about three hours long, and I was lucky enough to sit in the back by the toilet. Mmm, mmm. Got to Nottingham city at around six pm and took a cab to the university. I was sorely tempted (bad pun intended) to abandon all of my belongings as I dragged them a good half-mile to my temporary lodging, and frankly, I'm still surprised that I didn't. By the time I got to dinner that night, I could hardly lift my fork! Despite all that, I managed to make some friends and eat some notoriously bad English food before turning in, quite happily, for the night.

Day 2

I woke up to a really perfect English morning: cold, misty, and green. This was the first day that I was able to walk around and get a feel for the school, and I did just that. I met a few people, but by and large I kept to myself so that I could see everything that I wanted to see and really get my bearings. I met up with my friends from dinner the night before, and we got a drink in the hall cafe. It wasn't a terribly eventful day, but I really enjoyed it.

Day 3

The third day was pretty similar to the second; I had a lot of informational sessions to attend, and a lot of solo walking. I got bundled up - it was another chilly morning - but by the time I'd gone to the first session, it was downright hot. I took a nap (ahh...) and changed into something cooler. The school was busing the international students into the city for the day, so I headed into Notts again with some friends. It was a fantastic night. We had some great, cheap Indian food and learned our way around.

Day 4

Looking back at my schedule, I don't think I actually did any of the school's activities on day four. I was jet-lagged and sufficiently well-informed by that point, so I just trekked over to Broadgate Park, where I live now, to pick up my key. It was another warm day, and we went back into Nottingham for dinner for another great meal. I felt a little bad about missing my last free meal at school, but the food was so terrible in the halls that the feeling was short-lived.

Day 5

I was finally able to move in on Saturday, which unfortunately meant more lugging of bags, but I was so happy to be in my own room again. I met my flatmates, then spent most of the day napping. Not very exciting for readers, I know. I meant to go grocery shopping, but by the time I was up and about again, it was getting dark and I didn't know where the grocery store was, so I went into Notts again for dinner.

Day 6

Sunday was another slow day, but I did go grocery shopping. I went into City Centre with one of my flatmates, Katie, and her friend, where I discovered Primark, the most wonderful store after Ikea. Susanne, my flatmate from Tuebingen, moved in.

Day 7

I don't remember what I did on this day :\

Day 8

Tuesday was mostly spent waiting in another queue to get into my history modules. I went with Katie to the bar in the student centre and met a lot of cool international students.

Day 9

Another day of waiting in line, this time for German.

Day 10

I can't remember this day either. I think I played poker with some friends.

Day 11

First day of class - From Serf to Proletarian: A history of the Russian peasantry. Went into the city at night.

Day 12

Cadbury factory!

Day 13

Had to go to the grocery store again.

Day 14

German class.

Day 15

Blood and Treasure! My history class on the Vikings. It rained a lot, but then, I am in England. Went into the city centre to see a movie. Oh, and I actually cooked a meal.

Day 16

That's today! Class again, homework, and soon I'll be heading over to the annual Nottingham Goose Fair.

Nottingham!

2008-09-24T12:59:00.002+01:00

Well, I'm finally here! It's been about a week, but I've only just gotten internet. I've been sorting out classes and schedules and moving from one room to the next, but things are settling down now. Hopefully I can plan my first excursion soon. Anyway, you can find pictures here: http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2142833&l=139a8&id=21312741

Just a few more weeks

2008-08-08T15:10:00.002+01:00

I ended up coming up to Philadelphia earlier than I planned; my grandmother passed away two weeks ago, and I decided to drive up here to be with my family. I'm glad I did, even if it means I'm a a bit bored. I got a job working at my dad's office, though, so at least I'll be getting paid for a month. I miss all my friends already! I can't believe I won't see everyone for a year. That's a bummer. Not much to update on in the study abroad realm; everything has been taken care of for a while. All I have to do now is wait.

Three months!

2008-06-18T16:29:00.000+01:00

I have fewer than three months before I leave the States! I bought my place ticket yesterday -- any student travellers out there, check out studentuniverse.com -- and I applied for housing. If I get my first choice, I'll be living in a place called Broadgate Park, which is actually off-campus, located in the town (?) of Beeston. It's actually closer to the history building than the other dorms!

In other news, the roomies and I are moving out in less than two weeks, and it's bittersweet. All of my stuff is long gone of course, and it now resides in Philly, where it will stay until grad school (scary thought). After our lease is up here, I'm going to stay with Reni, one of my current roommates, in her new place on Sumter St. until I leave Charleston. My flight to London leaves on the night of the 15th of September, so I'm planning leave to Philadelphia sometime around the 15th of August.

It's all coming together...

2008-04-07T16:39:00.000+01:00

I turned in my application for Tuebingen a couple of weeks ago, and Nottingham finally posted next semester's courses, so that one should be done within a week or so. Yay! Hopefully my schedule will look like this:

1. Blood and Treasure (it's about Vikings in England)
2. From Serf to Proletariat: the History of the Russian Peasantry
3. Weimar Film
4. West German Writing in the 1960's

In the beginning...

2008-03-01T01:31:00.001Z

It's a little early, I know, but I wanted to try out the blogging thing before I actually leave for my year ABROAD! Hopefully this will let me keep in touch with everyone a little better.